Crack of Dawn vs Crack of Doom vs Crack
Three of the most famous cracks the world has ever known. Granted, there are others, but for now, we shall stick to these:
THE CRACK OF DAWN
THE CRACK OF DOOM
Without further delay, let’s get crackin’:
CRACK OF DAWN
Rarely seen by people who don’t have young kids or go to work at some ungodly hour. Beautiful, stunning, breathtaking, (so they say). As far as cracks go, rather pleasant.
CRACK OF DOOM
Deadly chasm with a river of molten lava at the bottom. Has one of the most unfortunate names of any in Middle Earth. May have unpredictable and unpleasant releases of deadly gasses due to hidden sulfur deposits in the surrounding rock, (sure, blame it on the sulfur, sheesh). Also, the birthplace of the ONE RING. Do not mess with. Period.
Trippy illegal drug, man. Like, just whoa. Known to produce, like insane things, dude, like you think they’re there, but they’re like, not. Whoa.
Winner: NONE OF THE ABOVE!
All pale (and then visit a tanning salon immediately afterwards) in comparison with this:
A combination of the terror, beauty and deadliness of all cracks combined, personified into one beast.
And no, you will not be able to escape IT.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot run from IT.
IT is inevitable, as though you were tied to the tracks in front of an oncoming freight train.
It must be done, I MUST SAY IT:
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
Now I am complete.