Day two of Fav February, and here are three reasons why lists are one of my favorite things:
1) They’re awesome
2) Easy to look at
3) Fun to do
And, for your pleasure, I proudly present the List that started it all…
after the cut.
How to be Awkward
1) Say NAR.
2) Construct random story-lines in your mind at all times.
3) Stalk people.
4) Stare off into space while looking at someone.
5) Don’t think very hard about the status of your clothing throughout the day.
6) Propose ludicrous suggestions to those around you with no provocation.
7) Say ‘Meep’ after every word.
8) Burst into tears.
9) During long silences, say a single word in a very drawn-out way using a high pitched voice.
10) When talking to someone, put your hand in their pocket.
11) Laugh randomly.
12) When you play sports, fall often.
13) When something fairly ordinary happens, say, “Oooh Yeaaaaah,” as though it is really sexy.
14) Apologize too often.
15) Wear jeans to your first track practice.
16) Get tangled in things/run into things.
17) Say “you too” when unneeded.
18) Master the CREEPER STARE.
19) Own a collection of singing hamster dolls.
20) Sing/dance to your own theme song.
21) Take off your shoes and socks and walk around barefoot.
22) Own people at handshakes/fist bumps.
23) Pretend to be a spy.
24) Actually be a ninja.
25) Try to sell people something.
26) Try to sell people Jesus.
27) Mention that your mother helped you pick out your outfit.
28) Mention jail.
29) Copy Napoleon Dynamite’s style religiously.
30) Be a constant downer, (like in Charlie the Unicorn).
31) Mention Charlie the Unicorn and quote from it, if possible.
32) Wear a trench coat and sunglasses like you’re in The Matrix.
33) Dress up in a fairy costume.
34) Hiss at people who irritate you.
35) Walk into a sliding glass door, laugh, open it, walk into the screen.
36) Pull on the PUSH side of the door.
37) Compliment people’s chins.
38) Make strange faces while eating.
39) Catch falling items against other people’s crotches.
40) Be the ultimate Star Wars nerd.
41) Pick stuff up with your toes.
42) Have no dancing skills.
43) Always try to open locked doors.
44) Talk to yourself.
45) Ask someone what they would do if they only had one cheek….. on their face.
46) Get locked in a freezer.
47) Knock yourself out while trying to climb a fence.
48) Miss high fives.
49) Accidentally sit in chocolate pudding.
50) Memorize Chuck Norris facts and bring them up randomly in conversations.