Max 4 Review: The Final Warning

Cover of "The Final Warning (Maximum Ride...

Replace title with: "The Ultimate Letdown" and it's perfect.

The first book had me hooked.

The second book got me excited.

The third book took me to an all-out fan squee.

Then I was brutally crushed by the flying boulder that is known as The Final Warning by James Patterson, or, as I like to put it, Maximum Ride IV: We Fly Around Antarctica Because Global Warming is Bad.

I propose a slightly longer, but much more accurate title: Maximum Ride IV: “Abandon all hope ye who enter here”

It takes a lot of work to brutally throttle the life out of a thriving fan base, but this book did so seemingly without effort, AND seemed to enjoy it. I swear I heard a cackle of evil laughter when I finished the thing and a little part of me died.

Such a jumbled… hairball… nightmare…of putridity… *ghsleblah* [untranslatable]  T’would be my misfortune to accidentally step on this splattered chunk of roadkill while walking along the side of the road– how much more unfortunate then to pick it up and attempt a read?

The crumpled fragments of sanity that some editor hand-waved as a plot involves the Flock going to Antarctica where they whale-watch and try to save penguins…

I can’t do this. It’s seriously too bad to review.

The pessimist in me wants to make a prediction: that this book marks the downfall of what could have been a great series. That this series will never recover.

The optimist is hoping desperately that the next book will blast my previous theory out of the water.

Come on James Patterson, prove me wrong.

Please?

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Posted on March 31, 2012, in Reviews and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Max 4 Review: The Final Warning.

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