Max 6 Review: Fang
Remember a few books ago when we were saving the world? (NOT from global warming, back before that). Well, who needs that exciting plot line when we can have one filled with *sigh* romance AND pointless drama! That’s right, Patterson (if he still is actually writing these things), took not just one but TWO proverbial dumps on the fan base in this book. And both were soul-wrenchingly terrible.
Why? (hang on to your hats/beanies, I’m going to try and narrow this down to just a few things)
1) There’s another foreign bad guy and intelligence-that-is-not-intelligent villain and an evil scientist, blah blah blah, wait? Haven’t I seen this before? Oh yeah, in: EVERY SINGLE OTHER BOOK IN THE SERIES!
2) All characters exist seemingly to make witty retorts and angst except for…
3) Dylan, (who reminds me scarily of Bella from Twilight), who exists to be pretty pretty and generate moolah from love-triangle fan-tweens.
4) So many “He looked at her. She looked at him. SPARKLE SPARKLE BUBBLY FEELINGS SPARKLE!!!” Yep, we gave up plot, for this.
5) A melodramatic lame ending
At least one of the characters appears to have some semblance of sense and attempts to flee the series permanently by the end of the book, BUT (due to#5) is unable to ensure his exit from the franchise meaning s/he is definitely going to pop back up again.
There are many, MANY more things but unfortunately this book isn’t good enough to deserve me going through all of them.
So after wandering through the tangled thorn bushes that make up the scenery, tripping over boulders of awkward romantic dialogue and falling through plot holes the size of the newly-revoked un-planet pluto, I have only one question:
If they’ve started naming books after characters now, when is GASMAN coming out?
Because it couldn’t possibly be more stenchful than this pile of poo.