Monthly Archives: October 2012

Clarification

This is what 25,000 nipples looks like, respectively:

Not what you were expecting, was it?

It was the subject of a discussion I had with my roommate regarding NaNo. How many pages is 25,000 nipples? (In college, these are the hard questions you have to ask).

The answer was 42. AKA The Answer to life the universe and everything. Composed purely of nipples. Have I said the word ‘nipple’ enough times to weird you out yet? No? You’re a creeper.

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I Lent My Roommate My Laptop and Then Remembered This

—-

I Would Totally Watch This

Via CollegeHumor.

Onward and Upward (or Diagonally)

Midterms are done! Onward to…NANOWRIMO.

For those of you who haven’t heard of it, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. The month in question is November, and the novel in question is yours. You sign up on the NaNo website and prepare yourself for thirty days of furious typing. To win, you must type at least 50,000 words of your never-before-seen novel. You are allowed to do outlines/character charts/preparation ahead of time, but cannot write a single word of the novel until 12:01am on November 1st.

I did NaNo last year and had a blast, (and ended up winning). The novel I wrote was nose-hair-curlingly awful, but honestly that was part of the fun. After I finished, I cut off my novel’s head and buried it deep, hoping that it wouldn’t come back to haunt me as a zombie. This year, though, I made a deal with my roommate: if they get halfway, (25,000 words), they get to read my awful work at the end and their nose hairs will pay the price. No pressure.

As of writing this post, NaNo starts in eight days. I expect it will take up a lot of my time not already occupied by school and work, so here’s a warning: posts for November will be scarce.

“But, I.C.!” I hear you saying, “didn’t you already do something like this in August that left us with nothing but a slew of awkward Kirk photos?” The answer to that is, yes, yes I did. But to make sure you don’t feel left out during November, I shall be posting word counts again but this time with: (drumroll, please…)

Same facial expression Spock photos!

I know. You can stop crying tears of gratitude now, really.

I Sat Down to Write

Thousands of them

From here.

So…yeah. Later dudes.

Year of the Archer

I’m not the first to point this out, and sure as nar won’t be the last, we’ve got A LOT of sweet archers lined up for cinema this year. We started off the blockbuster movie year with, (all together now): The Hunger Games.

If you’ve been living in the mountains surviving off of roots and bear meat for the last few years, The Hunger Games follows a young teen named Katniss Everdeen as she uses her smarts and archery skills to survive “The Hunger Games” (no way), an annual game in which the contestants (all children) fight to the death until only one remains. Jennifer Lawrence fulfilled her role perfectly and the 155 million opening weekend ensures that we’re going to be seeing more of this sharpshooter soon.

Our second archer of the year goes to Hawkeye of “The Avengers.” Thankfully leaving behind the purple spandex of his comic counterpart, Jeremy Renner surprised many in his role as the cooler-than-ice arrow slinging Avenger. An earlier role in “Mission Impossible 4” has already cemented his BA status, and his upcoming role as a new assassin in the Bourne universe is sure to continue the trend.

Last but certainly not least, we have Merida, our protagonist from Pixar’s newest movie, “Brave.”

A princess who goes out of her way to change her own fate meets up with a handsome prince who shows her that all she really needed was some luuuuuve to turn her life around–

Oh, wait. That wasn’t the plot at all.

Nope, Merida shoots arrows, solves mysteries, saves the kingdom, and takes on an ancient curse all without so much as a single boyfriend.

All future screenwriters out there take note–this movie is an instruction manual on how to properly write a strong female protagonist.

Unfortunately, no matter how sweet these archers may be, nor how giant a pile of cash they may accumulate, the fact still remains…

Legolas owns all.

+5 immaculate hygiene

UPDATE 10/17/2012- I forgot to mention Arrow, (a TV show based on the DC character, Green Arrow), which, I suppose,  is some sort of DC psuedo-answer to The Avengers. My guess is that its job is to hold the crowd in place while company executives at DC scramble to push out the inevitable moldy bacon driblets that will eventually combine to make a Justice League movie. Arrow happens to shoot, well arrows, so he counts as yet another archer who is, (in hipster-speak), “going mainstream.”

Ha, I Remembered To Post!

Well, mostly.

Awesome:

The Ohio State University Marching Band’s halftime tribute to video games. (Via fcbahamutzero).

Song of the Week 10/6/2012

Love the song, but the music video is trippin’ like a clown over a banana peel:

Meet the Sheep

A few of you may have noticed the replacement of the default Mystique background with something different, namely Ninja Sheep. The four sheep in question are members of the Dead Unicorn Squad Team, or D.U.S.T., an organization that saves the world all the time. But they get paid really crappily for it, since their organization is so secret, not even the people in charge of the budget know about it. DUST decided to do some freelancing on the side to help pay for their cool gadgets, and I needed an awesome header, which lead to what you would call a win-win, (with possibly a third ‘win’ thrown in because they’re ninjas).

Much thanks to Kris, who drew an artist’s rendering of the whole team, AND to the members for allowing me to show their faces. (Fact: it took an hour of hard eye-watering staring just for Kris to see their outlines. They were that ninja).

The ninja-sheep have agreed to stick around for a while in exchange for pizza and whimsy, both of which I have in abundance. Although their main job will be to beat back the swarming masses that try to mob me every time I go to a Walmart on Black Friday, they will also be in charge of security on the site, AKA: ninja-ing the pretzel sticks out of morons.

So you’re not totally lost if they track you down and grow bamboo through your chest for attempting to impede the site, (pretzel-eating trolls be warned), I’ve put together a short introduction to each member:

Burns, the conniving, straight-laced, and no-nonsense leader:

The scar on his left cheek came from Chuck Norris.

Harrison, the sniper/spy/safecracking expert who specializes in killing from a distance:

Lover of Thai food and crappy movies.

McNary, the weapons/explosives expert, who also considers himself an expert with the ladies:

The sword is not 100% LucasArt approved.

It’s the headband.

And lastly, Keith Logins Jr., the inventor/techie/coffee gopher:

He uses five types of shampoo on that hair.

Enjoys spirited chess matches and long walks in grassy fields.

Together, they are ninjas, they are sheep, they save the world and they eat a lot of Top Ramen. And now they have an advertising deal with Awkward to Awesome as our official new masco-I mean deadly assassins.

So a loud round of applause for DUST!

That wasn’t as dramatic as I was hoping it would be. Oh well.