Battle of the Snowflakes: Part Five

Ahhhhh, sorry for the wait, vacation+school+work+writing difficulties= not a fun time. Full story after the cut.

Part Five: So You Wanna Be a Magical Girl

There are no half-hearted backstabbing congratulations when The Darkness is beamed back into her section. Ordinary beings might confuse this silence with intimidation. It’s not. It’s jealousy. The boring first battle was nice enough I suppose but demolishing one of the strongest back-storied competitors with a couple of words and a gesture? Now that’s style.

Next round’s competitors are the red-eyed girl in the section beside me and Other Coralynnne. Both vanish in a flash of light.

If I got nervous, I would totally be nervous that my round was next up. But I don’t, so I’m not.

Red-eyes and Other Coralynne and appear onscreen in a room so dark, I can’t tell which shadowy outline is which girl. A flickering fire in the middle of the room illuminates stone walls draped in some places with lengths of cloth. A few narrow windows are set into the stone but do absolutely nothing to light up the dark room.

Red-eyes begins the round by laughing in her deep yet attractive voice.

“How can you hope to defeat me?” she asks. “For I am the personification of all that is dark and destructive. I’m so evil, I didn’t even reveal my true name to all of you.”

“What is it then?” Other Coralynnne says, taking the bait.

“Natasha. Satantastic.”

Other Coralynnne gasps. “That’s so evil.”

“I know,” Natasha Satantastic says.

They stare at each other dramatically. At least, I think that’s what they’re doing. It’s really too dark to tell.

Natasha speaks again. “You seem like a nice girl who just happens to be tragically misunderstood,” she says.

“OMG,” Other Coralynnne says. “Somebody finally gets it.”

I can’t be the only one who sees one of the shadowy outlines discreetly creeping towards the other.

“People just don’t understand how hard it is to be a half Faethromorph who is destined to save the world and also has unfathomable magical abilities,” Other Coralynnne continues.

“Please,” Satantastic says, “by all means continue to tell me how hard it is.”

“Well,” Other Coralynnne begins, a bit of sorrow creeping into her voice, “I always always have, like, five prophecies going on about me at once. Of course I get all of them done in time but it’s absolute murder on my hair appointment schedule.”

“Hon,” Natasha Satantastic’s voice interrupts, “we got the overwhelming backstory last round. You got anything else?”

“What?” Other Coralynne says. “No, this is–”

A loud CRACK interrupts her again and the screen begins shaking so violently I look around to make sure it’s only happening onscreen and not to me.

Large shadowy shapes begin dropping from the ceiling and smash against the ground with loud BOOMS. As the two outlines of the girls flee to opposite sides of the room, a blinding light completely obstructs the screen. For a moment I think perhaps something has gone wrong and the girls have been beamed to safety but they don’t appear back in their sections.

Onscreen, the camera adjusts to show a wide gash in the ceiling that is letting blinding sunlight into the room.The new source of light properly illuminates Other Coralynnne and Natasha Satantastic who are on opposite sides of the room. The floor space between them is filled with rubble from the stones that fell from the ceiling.

Other Coralynnne grabs a sword hanging on the wall. Natasha Satantastic looks around for a sword of her own and comes up empty, picking up an iron candelabra instead. They are preparing to run at each other when the screen trembles again and the room darkens. At the top of the screen a giant, scaly muzzle protrudes through the gap in the ceiling, casting a shadow in the newly lighted room.

Natasha Satantastic holds her candelabra up as if to fend the giant off and asks: “is that a–”

“DRAGON!” Other Coralynnne shrieks.

As if incensed by the noise, the giant mouth opens and a stream of fire floods the room. We get a brief glimpse of both girls fleeing the flames in opposite directions before the screen goes black, the camera filming presumably devoured by flames.

After a few seconds of blackness, the screen lights up again, this time divided in half down the middle. The right half of the screen follows the evil Natasha Satantastic while the left is tracking Other Coralynnne’s flight. The next few minutes are spent watching the two sprint around various stone rooms trying to find each other while avoiding the dragon.

Finally, the two make it to the roof of one of towers which, on top of providing an excellent wide-open spot for the climactic final battle also gives us a beautiful pan of the surrounding countryside. From here, we can see that the stone building is in fact a castle–or at least used to be one. With the exception of the tower the two contestants are battling on, the rest of the building has been reduced to rubble, presumably by the dragon, though I know I saw Natasha Satantastic blowing up a few rooms on her own with hammer-space explosives.

Like the first battle, the two girls wind up on exact opposite sides of the roof. Unlike the first battle, they clear the distance between in less than a second and clash, sword against candelabra in the center. Though both of them together couldn’t weigh more than three hundred pounds, when their weapons hit, the tiles on the roof around them are blown clean off from the force while they both remain standing. They go back and forth for a bit but before a proper fight can really begin, the third contestant (and my favorite) makes a reappearance.

The dragon is back and announces it’s presence with a jet of flame aimed solely at Other Coralynnne.

Other Coralynnne back-petals violently from the heat. She probably would have made it too, if not for the iron candelabra lying in perfect position on the ground. She trips backwards and that wondrous rainbow-hair turns fiery orange. Literally. She drops her sword to beat the flames out and Natasha Satantastic is there in a heartbeat.

Hair smoking and a sword pressed to her throat, Other Coralynnne’s kaleidoscope eyes cloud in confusion.

“But–?” she says, “I’m the hero.

“Of your story, perhaps,” Natasha Satantastic says simply. “But not mine.”

The Other Coralynnne’s death isn’t pretty. She doesn’t dissolve into a beam of light or thousands of pieces of glitter. She’s beheaded. While being impaled on spikes. And eaten by a dragon.  Where did the spikes come from? I have no idea.

Like I said, not pretty.

Even though the round is over and Natasha Satantastic has clearly won, she hasn’t been beamed back to her section yet. Instead, she’s looking straight into the camera, piecing red-eyed stare and flowing black locks mostly blocking the view of Other Coralynnne’s demise.

“Do you hear that?” Natasha Satantastic says venomously. “That’s the sound of a unique and special snowflake hitting the ground.”

A loud squelching sound comes from somewhere behind her as the dragon goes in for another chomp. Faith Hope Charity Love faints dead away in her section and drops to the floor with a thud.

But never mind that. It’s my turn now.

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Posted on August 6, 2013, in Battle of the Snowflakes and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Battle of the Snowflakes: Part Five.

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