Blog Archives

The Best Thing Since Sharknado?

Not actual poster

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present:

Moose Jaws.

The tagline is… wait for it…

Jaws.

With a moose.

Brilliant!

Yes, it’s a real thing.

Even better, this movie is the last in a trilogy of Canadian-based horror-comedy films directed by Kevin Smith of Clerks fame. No, I’m not making this up. [link]

The first movie, “Tusk” follows a man who slowly turns into a walrus. It’s already out, so you can watch at your pleasure. Not that I’d recommend it.

Tusk_(2014_film)_poster

Actual promotional poster

The second movie in this epic trilogy is titled, simply, Yoga Hosers. It comes out this year and will apparently follow two teenage girls who travel the countryside (of, naturally, Canada) fighting supernatural powers. They are also yoga fanatics (and convenience store clerks).

Moose Jaws is scheduled to be released sometime in the next year.

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Hark! How goes the Hunger Games?

Honestly? Ok.

It was good. Not eye-incineratingly awful, not the best thing since Inception. Not so bad it was laughable (like Twilight), not a movie for me to rave over. It was good enough for me to skip the sock-lint tenting and cancel my plane tickets to Mongolia though, so that’s a relief.

A few things kept it from living up to all the hype:

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Ode to Hunger Games Movie


Ooooo, ahhh....

Dear Hunger Games movie, you are not so far away… (and have a greater than 80% chance of suckage, unfortunately). But I’m still rooting for you, and by you I mean a movie that has:

1) Tons of action.

2) EXPLOSIONS!

3) Remotely passable acting (just a step above Twilight, that’s all I’m asking).

4) Does not spend ENORMOUS chunks of screen time with Katniss/Peeta or Gale staring into each other’s eyes.

Basically all I’m asking is that you spend roughly the same amount of time on *sigh* romance as they did in the book, which is: enough to ensnare the small squeally-tweensquad that fuels the franchise, but NOT so much as to be detrimental to the *cough* real storyline.

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Two Reviews of I am Number Four

All righty ladies and gents, for a limited time only, you get two, count ‘em TWO reviews for the price of one, I present:

I Am Number Four: the book & the movie.

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